Saturday, 22 June 2013

The 'Friendly' Syndrome

Dedicated to: A friend.
Inspired by: Another friend.

A few days ago, one of my closest friends made an interesting statement :

"Friends are there for providing entertainment only.." (Indian style, I know, but I couldn't figure out another way to emphasize the point)

The next time someone asks me (or on quora) which is the most misused word in the language, I'll declare with an air of absolute certainty that the answer is "friend."

While definitely there are lot of people out there who'd think that a friend is not just someone who necessarily amuses you, yet, many of us, inadvertently or otherwise, have this notion in the back of our mind. In fact, the statement of his made me think deeper into how I treat my friends and how I should change so that I could be a good friend. Also reflect on how I have performed so far.

In my opinion, the way we categorize our friends is as follows:

Someone whom we know vaguely, not a lot of personal details - Acquaintance
Someone whom we associate with on a daily basis and seek his help in our work (Who cares about his personal life!) - Friend
Someone who is a friend and we know his family - Close Friend
Someone who is a close friend and amuses us - Very Close Friend
Someone who is a close friend and amuses us the most with his wit and humor, never fails to impress us - Best Friend.

I would like to leave it to the reader what each of the above mean to him/her, as I'd like to go seemingly tangentially.

Long ago, I used to have one (and surprisingly now again we are). Whenever I was in slight trouble in my life, he'd always taken interest and ever tried to smoothen it for me. And it was not just with me. Whoever he moved with closely he's always done that. Considering that taking interest in others' problems is such a taxing task, He almost always surprised me with his caring attitude. We might have had a couple of spats, but that never changed my opinion about him as a friend. In my opinion, he may not be a close friend of mine now, but he is always a good friend. A person whose concept of a friend is not merely someone who provides entertainment; whom we are free to exploit whenever and however we want; someone who we can ever count on to listen to all the stupid things we got to say; but someone to whom we are ever ready to offer a helping hand when needed; someone who we can count on to offer us when we need one.

And surely, that implies a desire to associate closely with him/her. And an intrinsic desire to share our happiness with him/her. Which includes mutual amusement!

And the guy that made the "interesting" statement, he calls me his best friend, and he's cleared up all my doubts in a single line. Why give a damn about what a person would feel because of your words!

1. This is solely my experience of what some of my friends think, and I'm sure this essay is not particularly enlightening to many. I still have some very good friends that I care about, and this is not aimed at them.
2. The second guy is same as the one described in this. Over the semesters ( :P), my own opinion of a friend has evolved thus.
3. I'm sure he would have made a great boyfriend, can't fathom why she broke up with such a caring ass :)  I get it, girls favor only jerks, but still !

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