Saturday, 3 May 2014

The JEE!

Dedicated to: My future Children!

Of all the villains I am going to warn my kids about, the first and foremost of them would be the JEE.

I have lots of plans for them. I want them to start playing chess at 5. Learn tennis. Play a lot outdoors. Never touch a gadget till 20. Tour a lot. Develop passions. Study with passion. But then, work towards their passion. Be happy.
Without subscribing to the post-modern false concepts of a careless abandon towards studies, it makes more sense to me to give them various choices of career paths and let them choose, rather than the extremes of brainwashing and devil-may-care.

*********

8 pm, May 24th, 2009. Day before the announcement of IIT-JEE 2009 results.

Yesterday at this time was fun. I was just coming out of all the praise I got after my BITSAT exam on 22nd. Lots of calls. Uncles right away suggesting me to take admission at BITS-Pilani. But then here again I am, as nervous as ever. Tomorrow is the big day, the final judgement of my last two years!
I came from my college at 5 or something.I don't miss that, ever. In fact, I have gone to Paravyoma till the day before I left for Chennai. Surprising because I have not visited my school even once after graduating. Well, I loved my teachers, Period.
Alok sir said I might get around AIR-700. Aditya and Anmol had performed almost on the same level and might crack around AIR-300. What if they perform better than expected and nature balances it out as me?! Maybe I will have to do long-term. Maybe I will crack the paper next year. Maybe this year isn't for me. Maybe I should just shut up and go to bed!

7.30am, May 25th, 2009.
Dondaparthy 48A bus-stop.


The final moments(!) are just an hour away. In a couple of hours my future is going to be decided. Yesterday was so much fun, results weren't going to be announced then, peaceful life. But time has flown, yesterday has become today. Unfortunately.
I took the bus and reached my college in Muralinagar.

9 am.

Results are supposed to be out by now. But they are not. Probably a bad connection.
Some of the students seem so care-free. Some of them are trying to beat the stress by patronizing others. Some of us are trying to calm the hell down.
Bam! The AIR-1's name is out. So is 2,3 and 26. None of them is mine, thank god! What is this name, Gopi Shivkanth, anyway?!
Heart is beating faster. Mind isn't working clearly. What is happening in the world? I think it's going to get mashed in a few minutes. Time is slowing down at the rate of... Oh, damn it!
Alok sir went again to the internet cafe to check the results.
"Results are out," Alok sir says. I don't understand what that phrase means. Does he mean that the paper was leaked out and they cancelled the test? Ah, the refuge of hope!
Anmol got 504. Aditya, 484. Ok, probably I won't get a rank this time. They will easily get Mechanical Engineering in Chennai. I'll take that any day!
"The internet is a big mess right now. I'm trying to get yours too." Of course.
I cannot take this anymore. Maybe I should go off to Himalayas. Sleep there peacefully in a tent. Oh, what about all the avalanches there? Maybe the Western ghats, then. They say Kerala is a beautiful place. Stop it.
Alok sir comes the third time. He says my rank is out too. What does he mean by that, again?
1315.
My heart skipped three beats. First one when I heard it. Second when, well I can't remember, although it was just a couple of moments ago.
I am fighting my tears. I didn't expect a 1000+ ever in the back of my mind. What would my family think of me now? What about my relatives? Did I just let down everyone who has had a hope on me? Maybe, but I cannot think about it all now. The bubble was burst, and there ain't gonna be no fixing it.
Alok sir says, "It's ok, you got a decent one." I think he knows I am depressed.
I take 48A back home. I am lost in depressing thoughts. Have my family already known it? Have they already planned ridicules on me? I do not know. But first I have to give money to the conductor. He's asking for it.
I enter home.
Biggest surprise of my life. "Congrats!" shouted everyone.
"For what?," I throw my bag (Why I took it to the college is a long-forgotten dream) and slide down the reclining chair. This is my favourite chair. "Well, this is going to be the favorite chair of a loser," I think.
Now I am feeling drowsy, with all the pressure gone in a few minutes.
"Let me sleep for a few hours," I say to the air around me. It was clear that everyone heard.
I wake up. I get on my bicycle and am going to Ravishankar's house, although the main reason is to go to Harish's house.
Results of people all around me are now making me rethink. I think I haven't done all badly. 1315 is a decent rank. Neither of them qualified. Ravi is not down. Harish is forlorn.
I reach my home and sleep more. And wake up, only to sleep more.
More depression awaits me.

                                                                   **********

Many parents came to me later on with their sons for some 'counselling.' In one case I blatantly told to the mother that she's putting her kid through more pressure than he can handle. She thought I was stupid for saying that. She said that too.

The stress of the JEE (or similar 'competitive' exams), although it didn't take on me at other times than the D-day, thanks to my college, is something where the kids are helpless. Parents who were with us in the worst times of our life as solace, suddenly become the unforgiving antagonists of the story. Relatives are their side-kicks. You feel like you have to fight the whole world all by yourself.
I sincerely pledge not to make my children go through such cut-throat competition without their will. I sincerely urge my friends and family not to make them go through with this. Please let them pursue what they like to do, as long as you see they are at something productive. Please don't be over-awed by possible glorification from the relatives. Live, and let live!

Ooh, by the way, Merry JEE-results day!

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

The Placement

Dedicated to: My sister first, and my sister next!
                                                 
                                                               **************************


Ten days it's almost been, and I couldn't see any job offer on the horizon.
Nerves got the better of me. It's been almost 5 years since I tasted any tangible success (the last being on the JEE-2009 results day), and since then life has been going only downhill. I felt afraid it would culminate in a disaster in the form of placement season.
This year (well, that year), only a handful of core companies showed up so far, the notable ones being Eaton, Bosch and Reliance, apart from FMCGs.
Eaton - history screwed me up in the form of CGPA. Well, a narrow miss.
Bosch - Thought I'd done the written test well, but karma screwed me up.
Reliance - More karma.
                                                              *****************************
On the fourth day, I attended, reluctantly though, the Futures First's interview(s). Stress interviews they are supposed to be, so I prepared myself for the challenge.
It was a series of three interviews. The first one went fairly easy with who I'd like to call 'the smooth guy.'
Those who qualified the first round were sent to the second ( I have to mention this because some interviewers count on a cumulated performance.) This dude was a tough nut. Within seconds I realised that this guy isn't going to buy my attractively-packaged-garbage so easily. I need some convincing and confidence to do. He asked me a few puzzles, and even though I wasn't able to answer a significant portion of them, I kept my cool and projected my confidence fairly well. Only that I went a tad farther, and tried to reverse-stress the guy by correcting his questions.
I was interviewed for the third time, though. It was 3 O' clock in the evening. The final interview was on, and he kept repeating the same questions that the HR-2 asked. Enough, I said to myself. "I am hungry, I haven't had lunch or breakfast today, Sir," I said to them.
The final nail was sent into the coffin.

                                                 *********************************************

On the ninth evening, though, It was announced suddenly that Mercedes, which was earlier open only for the M.Techs, was opened to Dual degrees as well. My branch counselor specifically called me (and only a few other guys) to apply for it immediately, and that rest could be taken care of later.
With only little hope did I send in my resume, with only little hope did I attend their Presentation, with only little hope did I attempt their written test.
With only little hope did I check the shortlists the next morning. And unsure enough, my name was there.
With more of 'little hope,' I attended the group discussion session. The last time I attended a GD was my first time, and It was a disaster. I had to make amends this time. Except that this is a do-or-die situation.
The topic for the discussion was a fairly easy one, and in spite of my lack of confidence and high-pitch voice, I managed to blend in pretty well. I was confident of my performance in the GD round. But karma hasn't been my friend so far.
With great apprehension, I checked the shortlists for the final interview, and heck, I made it to the final round!
It was only 11a.m, and the interviews weren't for another couple of hours.
Couple of hours became quadruple of hours, and still there was no sign of my being interviewed any soon. As always, there was lot of pre-interview chat. "What kind of questions are being asked?" "Are they stressing you?" "How did you do?," and stuff.
                                                           
                                                                    *************

4p.m

The student coordinator sent me in to give the interview.
I entered the room.
As soon as I entered, HR-2 guy started to shoot me with questions.
Before answering them, I respectfully interrupted,"May I have a seat, Sir?"
"No, you are supposed to give the interview standing."
I tried to give my broadest smile possible, limited only by my only-so-much-elastic lips.
"Have a seat, pleasure to meet you!".

The HR-1 guy came from behind and tried a wise-crack at me, "Since when are they allowing Tenth class students to attend IITs?"
Trusting my innate spontaneity, dubious as its existence and laudability is, I replied immediately, "After they complete their intermediate, Sir!"
HR-1 looked appalled, but HR-2 seemed to like it. He broke into a wide laugh, and complimented me.
"Thank you, Sir," I said, pinning my hopes on the coordination between HR-1 and HR-2.
I knew at that moment that I scored a few brownie points.
HR-2 and HR-3 went on to interview me on technical stuff, and strong I am in Fluid Mechanics and the like, I answered them with fair ease.
I came out of the room after a firm handshake with HR-1,2 and 3.
                                                                        **************

I knew I impressed them, but who knows what my karma has in the store for me?! Lots of questions hovered and circled in my head in the immediate half-hour, and I could do nothing but to watch them mess with my mind. The final results were awaited, and HR-1 requested everyone to assemble in the corridor so that he could do the needful.
We all semi-circled around the three guys, and in spite of all the advice on the ephemerality of the first-job-pleasure, we pinned our hopes of future in the little piece of paper the HR-1 was carrying. What if the HR-1 was pissed at my comment and their coordination backfired, only to see myself eliminated?
As soon as HR-1 came out, I occupied his immediate left and started having a peek at the list of names he was carrying.
1.Vivek Bharadwaj
2.Arshad M Siddique
3.Chandrasekhar Sirimala
4.Anoop Jogdand
5.XXX XXXX

His fingers covered the fifth name. I was only more sure that my karma had finally forgiven me!
As he was announcing the names, he requested the selected guys to be awarded the Mercedes-Benz cap.
After announcing the first two names, I could finally see the fifth name, and it was mine!
"And the fifth guy is...," he looked around and then at me with a weird smile on his face I wouldn't be able to figure out the meaning of hadn't I already known!
Even before announcing the fifth name, I went around him and stood in-front of HR-2 who was giving us the caps.
"Oh, so you already knew huh?," asked with a smile HR-1.
"Yes, sir, I was peeping into the sheet!," said I, much to the laughter of all the candidates and the HRs. I got the Mercedes-Benz cap, after all!
"Congratulations!"
                                                                   **********************

I came out of the venue, and as I was walking on the main road, too many thoughts were running in my mind.
But then the first one, as if instinctively. I picked up the phone. Not to call my Dad. Not to call my Mom. But to call my sister.
She burst out immediately.
What would it have been for me if not for her support and kind assurance! Consistent and cooperative for almost a month since!

Infi number of calls followed, and at the end of the day, only one thing remained.
Sweet dreams!
                                                                   ***********************

Everyone faces this situation for the first time in their lives at some point or the other. Some of my friends made it to Deutsche bank and ITC. Day one. Slot one. So It should not be a big deal, technically. But screw rationalism!
"He's so excited about just XXX, I made it into XXXX," is the most foolish statement one could hear!
Happiness lies only in satisfaction inside, and not by what others perceive you as!




Saturday, 22 June 2013

The 'Friendly' Syndrome

Dedicated to: A friend.
Inspired by: Another friend.

A few days ago, one of my closest friends made an interesting statement :

"Friends are there for providing entertainment only.." (Indian style, I know, but I couldn't figure out another way to emphasize the point)

The next time someone asks me (or on quora) which is the most misused word in the language, I'll declare with an air of absolute certainty that the answer is "friend."


While definitely there are lot of people out there who'd think that a friend is not just someone who necessarily amuses you, yet, many of us, inadvertently or otherwise, have this notion in the back of our mind. In fact, the statement of his made me think deeper into how I treat my friends and how I should change so that I could be a good friend. Also reflect on how I have performed so far.

In my opinion, the way we categorize our friends is as follows:

Someone whom we know vaguely, not a lot of personal details - Acquaintance
Someone whom we associate with on a daily basis and seek his help in our work (Who cares about his personal life!) - Friend
Someone who is a friend and we know his family - Close Friend
Someone who is a close friend and amuses us - Very Close Friend
Someone who is a close friend and amuses us the most with his wit and humor, never fails to impress us - Best Friend.

I would like to leave it to the reader what each of the above mean to him/her, as I'd like to go seemingly tangentially.

Long ago, I used to have one (and surprisingly now again we are). Whenever I was in slight trouble in my life, he'd always taken interest and ever tried to smoothen it for me. And it was not just with me. Whoever he moved with closely he's always done that. Considering that taking interest in others' problems is such a taxing task, He almost always surprised me with his caring attitude. We might have had a couple of spats, but that never changed my opinion about him as a friend. In my opinion, he may not be a close friend of mine now, but he is always a good friend. A person whose concept of a friend is not merely someone who provides entertainment; whom we are free to exploit whenever and however we want; someone who we can ever count on to listen to all the stupid things we got to say; but someone to whom we are ever ready to offer a helping hand when needed; someone who we can count on to offer us when we need one.

And surely, that implies a desire to associate closely with him/her. And an intrinsic desire to share our happiness with him/her. Which includes mutual amusement!

And the guy that made the "interesting" statement, he calls me his best friend, and he's cleared up all my doubts in a single line. Why give a damn about what a person would feel because of your words!


P.S. 
1. This is solely my experience of what some of my friends think, and I'm sure this essay is not particularly enlightening to many. I still have some very good friends that I care about, and this is not aimed at them.
2. The second guy is same as the one described in this. Over the semesters ( :P), my own opinion of a friend has evolved thus.
3. I'm sure he would have made a great boyfriend, can't fathom why she broke up with such a caring ass :)  I get it, girls favor only jerks, but still !

Friday, 14 June 2013

Time!

Perhaps it was for the lack of skills.
Perhaps it was for the lack of time.
But perhaps,it was for the lack of motivation in my life,that I have kept away from all the positives in my life for the past few months.

I tried playing.I tried eating junk.I tried meeting up new people and making weird conversations with them.But finally,none of these is the winner.It's time.No,it's, "IT'S TIME!"

Just when I was totally down in the dumps and about to slip to worse activities(you know,by my standards) to come out of my looming depression,time has hit the brakes.
This, I realized, is a tough age to deal with,not only because of so many unsatisfied desires at their maxima, but also because we are not mentally equipped enough to handle them.To add to the agony,all those who we can share our strain with are living somewhere half a thousand miles away!
Perhaps, Time is a God's way of saying that He's always there for us.
Awesome friends all around to cheer us up. Superhuman sisters to provide a shoulder to cry on whenever required. Capable parents and teachers to drive us nuts with their wisdom (Pun intended). Beautiful nature to soothe us and absorb a part of our troubles.God-given intelligence and discretion at our disposal.
Yet, life is difficult for everyone.While some of us choose to move on without much of a fuss, others get bogged down by the difficult circumstances.
From what I've seen so far in my 20-odd years, not many of us are still troubled by the pain we might have undergone during our birth. Not many of us are troubled by the beatings our childhood teachers occasionally gave us.Not many of us are troubled by the pranks played in our high school.
Nevertheless, very interestingly, whenever a problem happens in the present, we usually lose our minds to whatever extent.
We seldom realize that a few years down the line, this problem might not even exist in our conscious mind, and even if it did, it might not look like a problem at all ! (More on this coming in the future posts)
Thus, from my experience, we just need to lace up our boots and face the situation.
We win,we win. We lose,we win !
Because who knows what's in the store for us?!
Meanwhile, therefore, we must allow ourselves to be cheered up by the awesome friends.Cry on the sisters' shoulders heartfully. Listen and absorb the wisdom that our parents and teachers have got to share with us. Let the pain drown in the water beyond the sand. These might not reduce our pain, but they will certainly remain beautiful memories once the storms are weathered !
And all the storms are there to be weathered by time.
After all, time is our best friend. Nay, God is our best friend !

Sunday, 20 January 2013

Give your heart,my ass!


A friend of mine,a brilliant one had always been a figure of inspiration for me since my seventh grade.A personification of happiness and an epitome of a man who knew how to live life happily,the way it is meant to be,he has always instilled in me a desire to live the same way he does it.
He was more of an inwardly person,in the sense that he used to be a person not concerned with the shallow idiosyncrasies of the world.Whatever he did,he used to do with his heart.
"What you do is not really important.How you do,whether you are doing it with the consent of your heart or not,is what matters,and what gives us the satisfaction we are craving for," he used to say."You may be having a million dollars,but what will you do with them when you don't have a person to share all your wealth with?And if you are looking for just some person,why not share it with a beggar?So the point is you always need a person who you can relate your heart with in your life."
Perhaps he was right,but his philosophically sounding words kind of repelled me.At least for my shallow mind which always obeyed the law of the world,"Go with the herd",while in actuality they did appear true to me at times.
After a long gap of about four years,I met him recently in the city of his residence.Contrary to what I expected,he did change.In fact,what I realised soon was my responsibility-to provide a good shoulder for him to cry on!
He said that he had loved a girl.And some story.And then they are done with each other.
He used the word heart at least two dozen times.I felt worried.
When we see a girl and get attracted to her,what are we really attracted to?Most of us to looks,few of us to which-you-know-but-shall-not-be-mentioned-here.And similarly when we want a girl to be attracted to us,what do we do?We tend to bolster our hairstyles and skin-tones.We build big round muscles.We wear only branded apparel,or study hard and get a nice job.Because we seem to know from the gut precisely what attracts the opposite sex.And the answer is,yes, you are right, our heart!
All the gyms and beauty parlors are present to encourage this winning-the-heart business,thank you very much!
Once we get into a relationship after the initial communication between the two hearts,what do we long for?Maintaining it.We change our priorities and even the way we live so that the person we lost our heart to doesn't get offended!
To what end?To cop a feel.To entertain our mind with whatever is on offer.Ultimately,to feel the rubbing of the genitals together.So much for losing our heart to someone!
Yet,we always love to believe that Lord Kamadeva has shot the two of us with his arrow of love and exchange of hearts!We even start believing the concept of soul-mates,though it's a different issue that we hardly believe in a soul.
When I heard the word 'love' from him,my mother immediately came to mind.She happily carried me for nine months in her womb.She cleaned my stool,and tolerated whatever stupid things I did when I was a child.She still loves me.And I'm sure she'll continue to care for me all the way till my grave with the same degree of selflessness.
And when he said 'Relationship',immediately my sister came to my mind.Recently she married my bro-in-law.And yes,I can clearly see that they are getting into a relationship.A mutual understanding of what they did-they committed themselves to one another.A mutual understanding that they are going to live together in this world for a fairly long time,and that not only they shouldn't make each other's lives miserable,but also that they have to strive to make them as merry as they can!
I concluded that he made a mistake.The mistake of not applying whatever is in his store of wisdom.The kind of feelings he experienced for her only overshadowed what really he felt - a strong sense of bad urge that is so prevalent in the teenage and the pre-adult age.In the language of a computer scientist,it's not always WYSIWIG! If he had understood that, he wouldn't have been like this today.
If we understand that, we wouldn't be like that in the future.




Friday, 4 May 2012

I'll Love You For A Thousand More!

"With tears that are audible,voice that is visible, and anger that is touchable,she cried,'this is enough from you!!!'"
The day had this terrible pre-start that is a potential outcome of the day.I decided to propose to her on the thirteenth day of May.And That was Today!
We have developed a thing for each other.Our relationship has grown from the little once-in-a-bluemoon smsing to frequent rendezvous and letting us know each other.Whether things were smooth or rough,slow or fast,light or heavy,one thing has remained invariable-I haven't lost her image in the back of my mind for a moment.That I realized,is the essence of love!
Things were getting heavy inside my heart.I couldn't contain the burden of not telling her how much I've loved her.How much I wanted to be with her at all points of time.So I took the last of those snaring initiatives-I'm gonna get rid off the burden today!
I called her up yesterday and said I'd be meeting her at her sister's house in vizag today.Damon cannot enter into Elena's house without invitation.Neither could I.But I wondered if I was Damon or someone else!
But thank God,she had invited me some days ago.So I proceeded.
We left her home minutes after tea and some snacks.We started walking on the beach road,starting from Lawson's bay colony towards the Kailasagiri hill.As we walked,we spoke about lot of the workaday things.On the way I picked up a red rose from a basket and silently put a Re.5 coin in the vendor's hand.She wouldn't be made to prepare for a shocking surprise!(?)
We stopped at the Tenneti spot at around 5.30 p.m and moved onto the shore.The crimson glory of the setting sun almost matched the color of the rose i bought.Funny,I thought,if that would somehow inspire her to know what I was up to just because of the reddishness of the sun that matched the rose's.Of course that happened only in mind.Most things happen only in mind.
We sat at a spot I've chosen on intent.Between one couple that seemed sure to kiss soon by the dint of their incipient romance,and another fighting with one another on whether they'd have dinner at pizza-corner or pizza-hut(I presumed anyway,but fighting they were!)
"Nice view of the sun and city together", I exaggerated,trying to cover up any possibility of a suspicion.
I began to choke.This was my first-ever tell-tale romantic talk.
"Relax,it's going to be easy!",I started to start my self talk,which she thankfully interrupted,"So how's life over these few days?"
"Average",I said,averting my gaze from her.
"Weird answer,I don't hear much of this around!"
"Well,you don't hear much of what I'm going to speak anyway",I said,continuing to avert my eyes shooting straight into hers.
"All right,you seem screwed.Not going good with  your girlfriend huh?",she shocked me with those words,but silently attenuated the excitement with a wink and a subsequent dialogue,"just joking,I know you're not that kinda guy".
"Time to move on buddy,decide this fast.A moment gone without her is a moment gone!",my self-talk guru gave me his first-ever wise decision in his life.
"All right,let's speak about a story.A hypothetical one.Girl you are,so you've got to tell me the decision"
"Whose?"
I calmly threw a stone into the silent sea,hoping her doubt would fade like the sight of the stone.And sink they both did!
Start,here we go!
"Let's say a guy,a happy-go-lucky one,a tee-totaller type,but not repulsive,goes along and accidentally meets a girl..."
"Yours?"
Ours,i wanted to say,but i didn't."A friend's.Immaterial now,let's get going.
"Say the guy gets her details and begins to imagine himself with her.Starts contemplating about her.In a few weeks,he realises that he is badly sad and sadly bad without being with her.The tiny spark of lust in his heart transformed into a blazing fire of love,powerful enough to incinerate those prejudices",i continued,staring into her eyes to plot her expressions versus my speech.
"Go on",she said with an expression not strong enough to detect enthusiasm,not weak enough to prove dismay.
"He is missing her so much now that like a ruminating cow,he's stored all of his interactions with her,small like an sms,to large like..."
"Keep it simple silly,Don't be a poet!"
"All right,sorry.But he is missing her like hell.Every moment he thinks about his moments with her.And he thinks why he's missed her since long,without tightly embracing her and never letting her go.He becomes dismal.Why he hasn't been capable of making her happy just to the extent that she'll do the same.He laughs madly.He cries helplessly.He sobs loudly.He misses her badly.

"She's been with him for long but nothing extraordinarily positive from her.As it always happens,he is unable  to be just friends with her.He wants to..."
A slight grin escapes from the corner of her lips,showing off her beautiful premolars.
I get furious,as i was about to blurt out,"Does this all seem funny???"
I stopped at the end of the second word,and forced my vision to intersect hers at the couple.
Predictably, they started to kiss with an extra spice of passion.
I cashed in.
"He wants to...He wants to not just kiss you.He wants to not just feel you.He wants to not just have that s-...",inherently mixing a lot of expression that she didn't realize the shift from third person to second.
"What does he want,tell me that!",she grimaced and added volume to her usually calm tone.
"He wants to be with you.He wants you to feel his love for you,He wants to take care of you.Forever.
"Right then,unfortunately,you see,love is out of phase with force.Love cannot be imposed.You cannot put someone in jail and force her to love you.But do you think his love for her is not a force enough to instill love in her for him?"
"A forcing-love?"
"If you will.Do you think the kind of thing he has for her cannot overcome all the prejudices she has about him?A recognition of that thing?"
"Well...",she was trying to say something.Perhaps give some advice to 'him'.
But I turned emotional enough,I now didn't care to peer into her expressions,I didn't care to beat around the bush.I had to throw those final few words.And wait to see if she will catch them,or spill them on the sand and let the tides bury them.
"Now sufficient,as i might say."
I rummaged in my pocket and after a bit of fumble,coolly took the rose and offered it to her.The brilliance of the rose was fully visible under the phosphorescent street lamps.Beauty lies in the heart anyway!
As I extended my hand,carefully clutching the flower with my fingers,a tear rolled down my cheek.
With a voice wavering out of emotion,I said those words,"Tu me manques! Aimez-vous!!!"(I miss you,and I love you!)
A blank expression on her startled face ensued,and it's like a pot-pourri of bewilderment,happiness and emotion.
Each of which have reasons for themselves,but when put together comes the trouble!!!

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Miss Me Not,For It Breaks My Heart!

Dedicated to : An ex-friend who was to eventually break up with me!
 
So Who are you?

Oh,I am your friend.Well,I was,anyway.We had been close for about a year-and-half in our high school.Then you, along with a few other baddies, mocked me and we turned out as enemies.

Then why are you again speaking to me???

Well, i don't know what happened to you, but somewhere down the road you called me to apparently congratulate me on my success in my examinations.I thought you wanted to put me further down.So i asked my mother to say to you that i wasn't home.

How nasty!!!You know I didn't!

Maybe i am sorry for that.But i wanted to make sure you were really better on me.You persisted.So i yielded.And finally, very recently we became good friends once again and spoke to each other, after the heat of the school days died down after about five years.

Now then, what's your problem???

I don't.You had.

Speak plainly.Don't beat around the bush!

Okay, let me explain.
So since our reunion we had moved pretty close...

Pretty close?How close???

Our proximity seemed to have leaped to much more than during our schooling.You used to say me about all kinds of things ranging from your classroom pranks to the confidentialities of your best friends.I had been always a step behind, but i too started to converse my personal things with you.

Like what???

Like sharing all my personal ecstasy that is supposed to be limited only to my heart.Like my psychological problems i wouldn't share even with my sister.Like things i thought i would not divulge even to a psychiatrist if ever i met one.Like things i would be most embarrassed to speak to anyone about.

Excellent!So where's the twist in this monotony???

Here it comes.As i have said earlier you spoke about your other close friends as well including a girl.

Girl???I dont have a girl in my life!!!

You don't, but you did.You used to say you two were becoming pretty close and stuff like that.One fine day apparently she proposed to you.
Although your personal person didn't have any courtly feelings towards her the moment before,yet,suddenly, like a Phantom's four, all the holy love in the universe manifested in you from nowhere, and you and she together started to build an apartment(Nay,a city.Nay,a world) of hallucination and dreams.You also pulled your mobile phone and me along with my mobile phone into that building.

What's with you then?My world, my freedom!

Alright,but let me complete.In that euphoria you had all kinds of interactions with her, and like a shameless bitch you used to elaborate on all that raw stuff to me.I bore silently.After all, i thought i was your friend.
But then...

Then what???

As is always the case with a good-looking girl someone else of your class had proposed to her on another fine day.And you added that out of her magnanimity she didn't say anything to him.

My god,she didn't say anything?You think she was playing with me,then?

I wasn't sure.But since you were my friend i advised you to make sure you really love her, lest she would feel insecure and eventually run away from you.

Good advice,thanks for that!

It is.But you didn't think so.You said i was doubting her.You spelled all kinds of curses on me.You were in such a madness in the real world and a deep so-called love in the imagined world that even after i begged your pardon for giving away my good advice, you were not to be appeased.You once again began to mock me at all my psychological weaknesses and things even more confidential.You showed me that whatever praise you had for me was all but a facade.
You blamed me.You betrayed me.You hated me.
Finally you again broke up with me.You said that you wrote your final sms.
But history repeats itself.After sometime you broke up with that girl too,though the reasons are unknown to me.

I'm sorry,but here goes my brand new second girlfriend.Ttyl!

Wait a second..

I'm sorry, bye!

Hey!!!


Bye!Laa la la laaaa.....

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Guys, this is a real story that really sends out a message to all of us.On something that is very delectable yet attractively dangerous.Like a cobra with a jewel on its head.In modern parlance,like a chocolate cake with poison sprinkled on it.
I don't have great ideologies about love and stuff, but i do know about what a friend is all about.People clamor on friendship day with a zillion SMSes and umpteen fb statuses but, really, only a true friend knows what friendship is all about.Even in the midst of a hundred naked young attractive girls.
Again i don't know about love.But i can speak about lust.
I can say with an air of absolute certainty that a friend is greater.
A friend bears all kinds of mistakes from you.A girl doesn't.
A friend sacrifices.A girl only benefits from your sacrifices.
A friend always remains.A girl always expects you to remain.Catch the subtle difference!
Philosophy heavy, but even on a logical platform, one should never trade a friend for a girlfriend.In imagination one might tend to stretch one's mind to various impossibilities.Like how good it will be if i remain with my girl forever, and how i hate the friend-fellow entering into the picture!
But.A girlfriend.May not.Always be.Loyal.To you.

Shut the f*** up!My girlfriend isn't like that.I've got better experience with her than you.

Popular opinion.But remember, might is seldom right.
Once again guys, let's go by logic.If any guy, for some reason, doesn't think that his girl will be loyal to him forever, and that she will never break his heart, will he still go on to commit himself to her?And willfully let her break his heart?

So what do you mean is what i ask!!!

What i'm saying is stop acting like you are an exception.Listen to the bigger ones!
Get back to reality.You've studied Newton's laws, didn't you?In your frame of reference, you are the observer and you can't find things moving.But an observer from outside - an inertial frame - a frame in which girlfriend is absent, can alone see the true nature of things.
Now guys, don't, please don't, leave a friend just because a girl lures you more.It's only ephemeral pleasure.It's proved time and again.Stop being in the imagined world.It's not worth it.At least it's not worth missing a friend!
Now...
Feel the kick! Try to get back up the levels.Don't wait till you die and enter into Limbo!!!


P.S. Parents have been our best friends since our birth.Dare not care for them and their feelings, and you can be safely called the most uncivilized man born on the planet.Nay, the animal on the planet...