Saturday, 22 June 2013

The 'Friendly' Syndrome

Dedicated to: A friend.
Inspired by: Another friend.

A few days ago, one of my closest friends made an interesting statement :

"Friends are there for providing entertainment only.." (Indian style, I know, but I couldn't figure out another way to emphasize the point)

The next time someone asks me (or on quora) which is the most misused word in the language, I'll declare with an air of absolute certainty that the answer is "friend."

While definitely there are lot of people out there who'd think that a friend is not just someone who necessarily amuses you, yet, many of us, inadvertently or otherwise, have this notion in the back of our mind. In fact, the statement of his made me think deeper into how I treat my friends and how I should change so that I could be a good friend. Also reflect on how I have performed so far.

In my opinion, the way we categorize our friends is as follows:

Someone whom we know vaguely, not a lot of personal details - Acquaintance
Someone whom we associate with on a daily basis and seek his help in our work (Who cares about his personal life!) - Friend
Someone who is a friend and we know his family - Close Friend
Someone who is a close friend and amuses us - Very Close Friend
Someone who is a close friend and amuses us the most with his wit and humor, never fails to impress us - Best Friend.

I would like to leave it to the reader what each of the above mean to him/her, as I'd like to go seemingly tangentially.

Long ago, I used to have one (and surprisingly now again we are). Whenever I was in slight trouble in my life, he'd always taken interest and ever tried to smoothen it for me. And it was not just with me. Whoever he moved with closely he's always done that. Considering that taking interest in others' problems is such a taxing task, He almost always surprised me with his caring attitude. We might have had a couple of spats, but that never changed my opinion about him as a friend. In my opinion, he may not be a close friend of mine now, but he is always a good friend. A person whose concept of a friend is not merely someone who provides entertainment; whom we are free to exploit whenever and however we want; someone who we can ever count on to listen to all the stupid things we got to say; but someone to whom we are ever ready to offer a helping hand when needed; someone who we can count on to offer us when we need one.

And surely, that implies a desire to associate closely with him/her. And an intrinsic desire to share our happiness with him/her. Which includes mutual amusement!

And the guy that made the "interesting" statement, he calls me his best friend, and he's cleared up all my doubts in a single line. Why give a damn about what a person would feel because of your words!

1. This is solely my experience of what some of my friends think, and I'm sure this essay is not particularly enlightening to many. I still have some very good friends that I care about, and this is not aimed at them.
2. The second guy is same as the one described in this. Over the semesters ( :P), my own opinion of a friend has evolved thus.
3. I'm sure he would have made a great boyfriend, can't fathom why she broke up with such a caring ass :)  I get it, girls favor only jerks, but still !

Friday, 14 June 2013


Perhaps it was for the lack of skills.
Perhaps it was for the lack of time.
But perhaps,it was for the lack of motivation in my life,that I have kept away from all the positives in my life for the past few months.

I tried playing.I tried eating junk.I tried meeting up new people and making weird conversations with them.But finally,none of these is the winner.It's time.No,it's, "IT'S TIME!"

Just when I was totally down in the dumps and about to slip to worse activities(you know,by my standards) to come out of my looming depression,time has hit the brakes.
This, I realized, is a tough age to deal with,not only because of so many unsatisfied desires at their maxima, but also because we are not mentally equipped enough to handle them.To add to the agony,all those who we can share our strain with are living somewhere half a thousand miles away!
Perhaps, Time is a God's way of saying that He's always there for us.
Awesome friends all around to cheer us up. Superhuman sisters to provide a shoulder to cry on whenever required. Capable parents and teachers to drive us nuts with their wisdom (Pun intended). Beautiful nature to soothe us and absorb a part of our troubles.God-given intelligence and discretion at our disposal.
Yet, life is difficult for everyone.While some of us choose to move on without much of a fuss, others get bogged down by the difficult circumstances.
From what I've seen so far in my 20-odd years, not many of us are still troubled by the pain we might have undergone during our birth. Not many of us are troubled by the beatings our childhood teachers occasionally gave us.Not many of us are troubled by the pranks played in our high school.
Nevertheless, very interestingly, whenever a problem happens in the present, we usually lose our minds to whatever extent.
We seldom realize that a few years down the line, this problem might not even exist in our conscious mind, and even if it did, it might not look like a problem at all ! (More on this coming in the future posts)
Thus, from my experience, we just need to lace up our boots and face the situation.
We win,we win. We lose,we win !
Because who knows what's in the store for us?!
Meanwhile, therefore, we must allow ourselves to be cheered up by the awesome friends.Cry on the sisters' shoulders heartfully. Listen and absorb the wisdom that our parents and teachers have got to share with us. Let the pain drown in the water beyond the sand. These might not reduce our pain, but they will certainly remain beautiful memories once the storms are weathered !
And all the storms are there to be weathered by time.
After all, time is our best friend. Nay, God is our best friend !